TL;DR: My autistic sibling lives with my parents and the situation isn’t healthy or hopeful. How can I plan to be her future caretaker in the next 10-20 years?

To begin, my parents [60s] don’t seem to have any long-term plans for my sister [24]. She’s not in school or on any career path. I don’t know if she’ll be independent or will be living in a group home or how long she will live with my parents. For many reasons me living with her is not a good solution for either of us. My parents are in a really exhausting living situation and they live on the day-by-day.

Either way I want to be able to financially support her to live either in community living or an apartment. I also want for her to have a social worker, have access to assistance and therapy. Basically I want to afford for her what she needs to live a good life.

Here’s my financial breakdown:

I’m single, 27F, make $54K and get a 10% raise each year. That may slow down around the $60K mark. I hope to make $75K in the next 3-5 years. I’m a web designer living in an affordable city in the Midwest.

$25K in liquid cash savings $44K in retirement (Roth and 401k) $8K in stocks

My personal goals are to get married, buy a house and a car in 3-5 years. I want to be child-free. The $33K is what I want to grow to save for those upcoming years.

I don’t have the numbers on my parents’ end, but they should comfortably live out their retirement. But caring for my sister may interfere with their prosperity. My dad retired from the US government and gets a pension and lifetime insurance, I believe. I expect my sister and I will get a modest inheritance from my grandparents and parents at their passing.

My parents are in the process of getting social security benefits for her this year. Not sure where they are on that.

I don’t talk to my parents about this since they view my sister as their responsibility and they want me to live my life as I wish. But I know that there will be a day when they can no longer care for her and I want to start planning for it. I know I need to have this conversation with them soon.

Where should I get started?

submitted by /u/122anon
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