Hey all,

Not sure what advice I'm looking for or if this is just a vent:

My fiancee's father has been wanting to sell the house, and has consistently talked about it for the past 5 years. He has made it a goal to fix up the house before it's sold. That sounds reasonable.

During these past 5 years, he retired (no 401K) and is collecting Social Security. The house is not paid off, so the bulk of the financial responsibility has gone to my fiancee and her siblings. Between mortgage payments, groceries, vacations, renovation supplies, equipment school supplies for the younger children and many other costs, they are up to almost $250,000 lent out to the father, who says he will pay them all back when the house is sold.

The tough part is that the renovation is a never ending cycle of unfinished projects. There are dozens of projects: in the backyard, the electrical wiring in the hallway, a new bathroom upstairs, redo the kitchen floors, remove and install new a/c vents, etc. Every day it seems like there is a new, never before discussed project introduced. Even when there are dozens of other, unfinished projects that are still waiting to be completed.

He has opened up credit cards, ran them up by thousands of dollars, left unpaid and had bill collectors come after him. All of which had to be resolved with a majority of the help/work of my fiancee and her siblings.

This house "fixing up" was only supposed to last a year, and every Christmas, he tells me: "You know, this is our last Christmas in this house". Anytime someone even asks for a plan, a timeline, or some sort of organization, he doesn't engage and dismisses them: "you don't know anything, or what you are talking about".

When I talk to my fiancee and/or the siblings about it, they also shrug it off. But it's really getting me worked up, because it seems like they are financial prisoners held by their father. And, just for clarification, I'm talking about adults here; no one is younger than 30.

Anyways, it's not my family, so I feel like there's not much I can convince the others. Just looking for any advice.

submitted by /u/Sample_Size_Matters
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